Author Archives: swany

Whittled down

I was whittled down to one four-character domain, following all the princes of history.

Here was the woman who drove them mad as hatters while tightening the band. She had ten galleons of fortitude and a honeycomb smile worth its wait in sixpacks.

Mr T

The last person who looked at Mr. T was Ray Charles.

On the 0th day, Mr. T created God. Then made God do the rest of the work while Mr. T pitied him.

The punishment for manslaughter in El Salvador is 35 years of Mr. T’s pity without parole

Mr. T can smell some things up to six miles away

Mr. T uses e before i as he pleases.

The last time Mr. T and Chuck Norris teamed up, Atlantis sunk.

One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

Mr. T was the pope, twice.

Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.

Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.

When asked for his thoughts on vegetarians, Mr. T said: “If god didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them out of meat.”

Mr. T is hung like an 8 year old. His penis is the size of a small boy.

Before Mr. T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.

Incite of land

her hand in front of the mower
mosquito fleet
broke witching stick
fish eyed philosophers
semaphore

in the little time left we’ll try to ford finnegans wake
admist the uncanny fragility of consciousness

logwood litmus
human cannonball
saddled with this body
roots pulled out from under
from horn to stirrup
isolated in iceland
baby in a car
facebook hung like an albatross
a google reasons to abandon ship
krumholtz

mushroom bodies

The mushroom bodies or corpora pedunculata are a pair of structures in the brain of insects and other arthropods. They are also known to play a role in olfactory learning and memory. In most insects, the mushroom bodies and the lateral horn are the two higher brain regions that receive olfactory information from the antennal lobe via projection neurons.

Weaver god

The weaver-god, he weaves; and by that weaving is he deafened, that he hears no mortal voice; and by that humming, we, too, who look on the loom are deafened; and only when we escape it shall we hear the thousand voices that speak through it. For even so it is in all material factories. The spoken words that are inaudible among the flying spindles; those same words are plainly heard without the walls, bursting from the opened casements. Thereby have villainies been detected. Ah, mortal! then, be heedful; for so, in all this din of the great world’s loom, thy subtlest thinkings may be overheard afar.

disembody

I am a disembodied man
head and shoulders above the nest
there’s tarnish on the trunk
and a lifetime of wear and tear.

Cricket

He was widely considered the greatest warrior prince since Gustavus Adophus. Gesundheit. He’s descended fron Genghis Khan, like most eurasians. And so’s your old lady.

Elders

Our father that art in heaven, and our mother that art in the earth, help me speak plainly now, and remain true to the lofty aim of our people. Which is, that the devil screw the hindmost, in the strict sense of the subject. Not to give airs, but also not to pretend that when Jack and Jill went up that hill, there was no more to it than a pail of water, we beseech thee (father and mother), as the direct descendants of Adam and Eve, Romeo and Juliette, and the old woman who lived in a shoe — guide us on our course.

Help us avoid mention of the smut-covered president, or of the common man, infested with bugs. The woman on the street? Keep her out of your dirty cold war. With your one good eye and half-bushel of fingers, raise the glass and pass the ammunition. We will now speak of the thermodynamics of the colored people.

Once upon a time, all the peoples was colored. That’s the way it was the old county. Then the Africans started to spread out, and in some cases, lighten up. And the people that wasn’t colored, tended to live in Iceland. After they’d been to the moon, they all got stuck in the sand.

They placed their trust in a great warrior, who had been through the bankruptcy courts, and had incited insurrections with a million dead; and she or see would clear the deck and all the frills upon it.