Category Archives: Sagas of Icelanders

If there were to be a god

If there were to be a god would we need a pope or flocks of doctors of divinities to plead their cases? Set any number of your finest theologians on that riddle and see what they come up with. Down in the gutter you’ve got to wonder, if something was pulling the strings of the universe, would it be making a distinction between tribes of primates. In other words, how long can you be in two places at once before you collapse ? Only a few watershed moments. Us and the rest of the mammals.

Children’s Crusade

The variants of the long-standing story of the Children’s Crusade have similar themes. A boy began preaching in either France or Germany claiming that he had been visited by Jesus and told to lead a Crusade to peacefully convert Muslims to Christianity. Through a series of portents and miracles he gained a considerable following, including up to 30,000 children. He led his followers south towards the Mediterranean Sea, in the belief that the sea would part on their arrival, allowing him and his followers to march to Jerusalem, but this did not happen. They were sold to two merchants (Hugh the Iron and William of Posqueres) who gave free passage on boats to as many of the children as were willing, but then they were either taken to Tunisia and sold into slavery by the merchants, or died in a shipwreck on San Pietro Island off Sardinia during a gale. Some may have failed to reach the sea, dying or giving up from starvation and exhaustion. They were betrayed by some of the adults in their group.

Manasseh

King Manasseh restored polytheistic worship to the monophytes of Baal, and sponsored the Assyrian astral cult throughout Judah. He is even said to have participated in the cult of Moloch that consisted in sacrificing young children. He took the temple prostitutes under his wing.

Manasseh sent twelve spies to abduct the women of Canaan,  lead by Gaddi, son of Susi. The Medes could smell he had been weed wacking, and rained on him with their dicotyledons.

Clitorius

Arcadia also has a marvel in its blenny, which Pliny said is so called because it climbs out on to the land to sleep. In the district of the river Clitorius this fish is said to have a voice and no gills; the same variety is by some people called the Adonis fish. In the case of a vine, when this swelling makes a knob at the knot it is called a ‘gem’, but before it makes a knob, in the hollow part it is called an ‘eye’ and at the actual top a ‘germ’

Whittled down

I was whittled down to one four-character domain, following all the princes of history.

Here was the woman who drove them mad as hatters while tightening the band. She had ten galleons of fortitude and a honeycomb smile worth its wait in sixpacks.

Mr T

The last person who looked at Mr. T was Ray Charles.

On the 0th day, Mr. T created God. Then made God do the rest of the work while Mr. T pitied him.

The punishment for manslaughter in El Salvador is 35 years of Mr. T’s pity without parole

Mr. T can smell some things up to six miles away

Mr. T uses e before i as he pleases.

The last time Mr. T and Chuck Norris teamed up, Atlantis sunk.

One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

Mr. T was the pope, twice.

Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.

Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.

When asked for his thoughts on vegetarians, Mr. T said: “If god didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them out of meat.”

Mr. T is hung like an 8 year old. His penis is the size of a small boy.

Before Mr. T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.

Incite of land

her hand in front of the mower
mosquito fleet
broke witching stick
fish eyed philosophers
semaphore

in the little time left we’ll try to ford finnegans wake
admist the uncanny fragility of consciousness

logwood litmus
human cannonball
saddled with this body
roots pulled out from under
from horn to stirrup
isolated in iceland
baby in a car
facebook hung like an albatross
a google reasons to abandon ship
krumholtz

mushroom bodies

The mushroom bodies or corpora pedunculata are a pair of structures in the brain of insects and other arthropods. They are also known to play a role in olfactory learning and memory. In most insects, the mushroom bodies and the lateral horn are the two higher brain regions that receive olfactory information from the antennal lobe via projection neurons.